spoiled.

Today I experienced much grace and love among my co-workers/managers. I had a phone call with a partner and to make that story short, tears filled up in my eyes. Thinking I could just keep it inside and that I will get over it, I told myself to not cry and to you know, absorb these tears back (:P). But that's not who I am or how I deal with my feelings. So I decided to tell my co-worker sitting beside me. She started to encourage and comfort me, which you know, doesn't really work when you're emotional and all - but still good because she stopped her work to come over and comfort me! Thinking that my performance manager will receive a complaint about me, I emailed him to get ready for it (:P). Surprisingly, he called me right away [and it should be noted that I still had tears and had to continue to flush those out] and asked if I was okay. I really was! But when I tried to say "I'm okay", I couldn't (-____-). I just started to cry all the more. I'm getting off topic here but it's interesting in how the human body works. I mean, if you're crying and you're actually okay but you still cry because it's not like you can stop it instantly. So interesting! I actually find that if you try to stop, you make louder noises (you use your nose to sniff away all the liquid that's coming down but you sniff very hard and so it makes sounds), which makes more of a scene. Interesting eh? Anyways, my performance manager said he will come over and when he did and saw that I was crying, he asked me if I wanted to go to Starbucks (:D - but clearly not how I felt when asked hahaha). I actually wanted to just spend time alone and pray because I just wanted God! Anyways, I locked my laptop and off we went to Starbucks (unbillable time - nuuuuuuuu! :P). He bought me my usual green tea latte and we sat there for more than an hour. We talked about what happened and how I shouldn't be taking that situation personally. Time passed by and my manager made sure that I was cheerful again. So I am really thankful that I have a caring and loving manager, because he took me out of work, out of the environment that made me vulnerable and sat me down, talked about the situation and taking it apart piece by piece, and then cheering me up and making sure that I am okay to get back to work. That's really nice! While we were talking, I was realizing this and I was thinking that he is a "good" man; but he doesn't know God! How wonderful it would be if he knew Christ! So this was the resounding thought in my mind. Upon returning back to work, I was really tired from all the crying (another interesting thing is how when you cry, your eyes become puffy and you're just so tired after!). Hours later, another manager of mine comes up to me and asks if I'm okay. She then told me that the regional partner was told about this and he went and had a talk with that partner. I understand this gets confusing so here is the hierarchy in an accounting firm (roughly): regional partner → partner → senior manager → manager → senior associate → associate (junior) → co-op student. This is why I feel spoiled. A regional partner made sure I was okay because of what a partner said to me; he actually went out of his way to care for a co-op student - the lowest of lowest. Thinking about what happened today, I really thank God for the way things turned out. For planting me in this firm where I worked for the regional partner before so that ever since he started handling bigger firm things, he knows me and still asks how I am! That now as a big big partner, he would make sure that little things and small potatoes like me are okay. Because realistically speaking, why would a regional partner care about someone so low. So I am really thankful for God. And yes, I am spoiled.