so much on my mind...

*this post is just me ranting it all out*
It appears that this whole CA thing requires a lot more work than I imagined.
Siggggggh, so much to think about! Especially since I need to write three exams, I need to enroll into prep courses and I don't know which one and this means that I will have to bus back to toronto every weekend to attend classes for 4 months....putting aside the transportation and prep courses and materials costs aside....am I even mentally and physically prepared for this?!?! On a micro-level, this is so overwhelming!!! But I know on a macro-level, this is probably nothing.....siggggh....lol my future actually looks so uncertain even if I know I have a job waiting for me!! But then this is all earthly stuff so it's like I'm sure I can handle it if this is what I have to do in the upcoming year. I mean, other people have done it and succeeded so there is a probability that I can too....all I can do is pray for strength and to just trust and rely on God....cause I can't handle this all right now...one step at a time!! It's another growing up stage I realize...I also realized that when these "big" things hit me or come my way, I have a tendency to just be really quiet and not want to talk to anyone...like I'll push them out of the way...and sometimes it worries them (like my family) but it's not like I'm upset or anything!! I'm just thinking...about what I need to do next....ahhh so much on my mind! ><