Process over outcome

May is fast approaching and this means that April is ending. Taxes are also due at the end of April so make sure you pay before then even with the 5-day extension due to the heartbleed bug; otherwise interest accumulates. Lately (as seen in the intro here for this post) my head has been filled with lots of accounting and audit knowledge that my brain is fried. In other words, I am burnt out. I start to see why my seniors tell me to treat it as work (9am-5pm + OT till 7pm on some days) and take the weekends off, because well, you really do need the rest. I'm also starting to stress out over my exam in May because I don't feel confident or comfortable writing it. I don't think I will be ready for it because there is just too much to know. In comparison to school, I would much rather re-post my "T.T" cause hahaa, this stress is heavier and it actually gives me a lot of headaches. There won't be bellcurves available for me now like in school, and the results are all relative to how other people do.  And if I fail this exam...I don't know if I'll have a full-time job still. But you see, this is the reality of the world. And as much stress this gives me, haha, I still say that I am stressed but not stressed at the same time. Maybe because I know that God is the one that establishes my steps (Proverbs 16:9). So if I fail, it means I won't proceed in taking the 2nd exam and perhaps do something else?! Haha, I'm up for that. If I pass, I'll take the 2nd one - I'm also up for that. I actually really like how I'm not confident about this exam because it reveals my need to depend on God and trust in Him. If I pass, !!!!! it's all God cause I am no where close in being able to pass on my own. 

Now that I'm writing this post out and having an opportunity to think over my thoughts, I think it comes down to the fact that the outcome does not matter. What matters is the process. What is my attitude like during this process? Am I working for the Lord or for myself? Am I still giving thanks to God or am I grumbling and whining throughout? Am I trusting and relying on God? That He will provide like in the past and also the now and the future?

"And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him." - Colossians 3:17

Whatever will be will be (hahaa, que sera sera)...but more like "Whatever God plans will be" :D :D