The Pursuit of God.

By A.W. Tozer.

What I've learned and learning :)

1. God must have sought me before I can even come to know Him and therefore pursue Him. It's a gift that I received! How can I not be happy??? How can I not be amazed? Usually people would say that we're doing the work to spend time with Him or that it's a chore and you would rather do something else (I think this way at times), but it's a privilege to do so!! God granted us to have the heart to pursue so pursue!

2. What is in my heart? What is the root of my heart? When I read that I knew immediately what is in my heart: relationships, work, school, grades, family, friends...then God. For Jesus to fully take over my heart would have me "removing the above from the temple of my heart, that God may reign unchallenged there. God wants to correct the perversion that existed in my love." I mean, wow. In awe, I had to read this over and over again to be sure that I let this sink into my heart. Because I have to admit that there needs to be cleaning. I need a new heart altogether. I want my heart to be free from worldly possession, for them to be external so that I own nothing, but my real treasures were inward and eternal (Tozer, p. 12).

an excerpt from the book:

There can be no doubt that this possessive clinging to things is one of the most harmful habits in the life. Because it is so natural it is rarely recognized for the evil that it is; but its outworkings are tragic. We are often hindered from giving up our treasures to the Lord out of fear for their safety; this is especially true when those treasures are loved relatives and friends. But we need have no such fears. Our Lord came not to destroy but to save. Everything is safe which we commit to Him, and nothing is really safe which is not so committed. Our gifts and talents should also be turned over to Him. They should be recognized for what they are, God’s loan to us, and should never be considered in any sense our own. We have no more right to claim credit for special abilities than for blue eyes or strong muscles. “For who maketh thee to differ from another? and what hast thou that thou didst not receive?”

So now, since I realize this, I need to take action. I need to come to God "defenseless" and with no excuses of the sins I have committed. And to know that this is SERIOUS business. THIS SERIOUS BUSINESS YO! And God will test me!

3. God has removed the veil that was stopping me to have a real intimate relationship with Him. This was done through Jesus Christ. The blood that He shed and where God's wrath was poured onto Him and became the way, the truth and the life for us.

page 19,

Let us beware of tinkering with our inner life in hope ourselves to rend the veil. God must do
everything for us. Our part is to yield and trust. We must confess, forsake, repudiate the self-life, and then reckon it crucified. But we must be careful to distinguish lazy “acceptance” from the real work of God. We must insist upon the work being done. We dare not rest content with a neat doctrine of self-crucifixion. That is to imitate Saul and spare the best of the sheep and the oxen. Insist that the work be done in very truth and it will be done. The cross is rough, and it is deadly, but it is effective. It does not keep its victim hanging there forever. There comes a moment when its work is finished and the suffering victim dies. After that is resurrection glory and power, and the pain is forgotten for joy that the veil is taken away and we have entered in actual spiritual experience the Presence of the living God.

4. "Faith enables our spiritual sense to function. Where faith is defective the result will be
inward insensibility and numbness toward spiritual things." (page 21). The basics of faith - those who come to God must believe He IS God and that He rewards those who diligently seek Him. “Ye believe in God,” said our Lord Jesus Christ, “believe also in me.” Without the first there can be no second. If we truly want to follow God we must seek to be other-worldly. Now, that's tough.

5. God's presence is everywhere. Imagine how different we'd act if we knew! We'd know whether the things we are doing or saying is right or wrong. And this fear of God would be understood by many. I mean, when you do something wrong and no one knows, you think you can get away with it. But when someone catches you and disapproves of what you've done, you'd be so scared. So scared. You'd wish you've never done it. I pray that I am reminded of His presence everyday!

6. Powerful - "The Word of God is quick and powerful. In the beginning He spoke to nothing, and it became something. Chaos heard it and became order, darkness heard it and became light. “And God said — and it was so.” I find it so hard to hear God's voice today. I'm always distracted by unnecessary sounds - a faint sound and I'll turn around and look at what that was...but I should be concentrating in my prayers to God and not distracted. To be silent and be patient!

7. "Faith is a redirecting of our sight, a getting out of the focus of our own vision and getting God into focus. Sin has twisted our vision inward and made it self-regarding. Unbelief has put self where God should be, and is perilously close to the sin of Lucifer who said, “I will set my throne above the throne of God.” Faith looks out instead of in and the whole life falls into line." - I am quite depressing at times if not all the time. I tend to ruminate (and apparently it's backed by psych about women!) on the things I wish I could have done better. And I get trapped in this endless cycle that sometimes I can't break free. I would tell myself that I am no good and deserve this pain I basically created. But a sister of mine texted me this today: "Awful things may have happened to you, but they do not control you. You may let them have control, but they do not have that power in themselves. Romans 8:1, there is no condemnation for those who are in CHRIST JESUS. Once you are in CHRIST, nothing can condemn you, knock you down. You are a daughter of the LIVING GOD. Romans 8:31 - If GOD is for us, who can be against us?" This touched my heart because it's true.

8. I admit that I subconsciously (and I suppose consciously) try to make God fit to however I like Him to be. Say to have Him appear in my life if (1) blah blah blah (2) blah blah blah (3) in this kind of setting blah blah blah and so forth. But who am I to modify the Living God? Who am I to change the one who has created me? Of course I can't! It's no use. "We can get a right start only by accepting God as He is and learning to love Him for what He is."

9. "The heart of the world is breaking under this load of pride and pretense. There is no release from our burden apart from the meekness of Christ. Good keen reasoning may help slightly, but so strong is this vice that if we push it down one place it will come up somewhere else. To men and women everywhere Jesus says, “Come unto me, and I will give you rest.” The rest He offers is the rest of meekness, the blessed relief which comes when we accept ourselves for what we are and cease to pretend. It will take some courage at first, but the needed grace will come as we learn that we are sharing this new and easy yoke with the strong Son of God Himself. He calls it “my yoke,” and He walks at one end while we walk at the other."

10. "Keep reminding God in our times of private prayer that we mean every act for His glory; then supplement those times by a thousand thought-prayers as we go about the job of living. Let us practice the fine art of making every work a priestly ministration. Let us believe that God is in all our simple deeds and learn to find Him there." Just keep praying praying praying. Like Dory the fish in Nemo swimming down and down saying just keep swimming, so it will be for me, Doree the human (HAHA) praying praying and praying. I've tried doing this today, praying that the work I do at the office is for Him and for His glory. Though, to be honest, I don't know how that really works out but then, that means I need to pray to understand that.

This is my speal, with thoughts most likely all over the place.

God, thank you for allowing me to pursue you and that you've given me you. You've given me freedom, of which I am no longer a slave to sin but to Christ. Father, I pray that I no longer dwell in the past, in the hurts that have made me so resistant to know and show of your love. Your love is deep and wide, so please let me drown in your love and grace. And allow me to respond. To take action for this freedom I have obtained. Please forgive me for insisting that I can figure my problems on my own rather than trusting in you. I need your grace and mercy. Please teach me how to face my problems, forgive one another and to look past things that are painful to me. Lord, be with me and everyone else! Amen!