Until we meet again :)

This morning I opened my bulletin, looked at the prayer items and saw that a brother in the english congregation was getting weaker. I don't remember what caused his entry into the hospital but I knew that he was suffering a lot in pain physically. During meditation before worship, I prayed for his health and his immediate family, that they would be encouraged and continue to hope in the Lord whatever the result is. After worship, the chairperson went up and revealed that this brother passed away this morning. I was stunned (jaw-dropping). We were all very quiet as the chairperson read a revised version of Psalm 23:

"The Lord is my Shepherd; Neil does not need anything.
He makes Neil lie down in green pastures. 
He leads Neil beside still waters.
He restores Neil's soul.
He leads Neil in paths of righteousness for His name's sake.
Even though Neil walks through the valley of the shadow of death,
Neil will fear no evil,
for You are with him;
Your rod and Your staff, they comfort Neil.
You prepare a table before Neil in the presence of his troubles/sufferings/challenges;
You anoint Neil's head with oil;
Neil's cup overflows.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow Neil all the days of his life,
and Neil shall dwell in the house of the LORD forever."

I knew this passage by heart - I had to memorize this in grade 5/6  for fellowship and I still remember each one of us had to stand up in the sanctuary and recite it. If we missed a word, we had to sit back down and wait for the next cycle to recite it again. Though at that time it felt like a chore, but over the years I found it so fruitful and a blessing that the fellowship leader told us to do this. He also passed away that year in a car accident. Therefore, when this was read, my mind was already reciting the words, but it was directed to Neil. Neil was my sunday school teacher in grades 7 and 8. Him and his wife poured out a lot of love and energy on us, teaching us and guiding us to know God more. I still remember, he gave us an acronym to remember the order of Paul's letters: Girls Eat PopCorn (Galatians, Ephesians, Philippians, Colossians). I still use this acronym to this day and still amuses me when I say it. I can't say enough to him - I was so immature back then and his involvement in my life as a teacher greatly impacted me. He was strong, always gave God the glory, had a passion for Muslims and always spoke of outreach events for them to know Christ (debates). So when this passage was read, it hit me really hard. I tried to hold back my tears and I wondered why no one was crying. I don't think it's because we're numb to people passing away but more of a chinese culture; you just keep it inside (?). Of course, we feel grief and sadness but we don't really express it. Right after service, I ran to find my sister and my parents and told them of the news and tears fell out of my eyes. It felt good to cry (I have yet to have my part 2 cry because I still feel like I'm holding it in). My parents and sister hugged me and comforted me. Something my mom said was that she was happy because when she visited Neil in the hospital, he told her that he is praying hard to stay here on earth to celebrate his wedding anniversary with his wife. God answered his prayers! Thinking about my day, I now have this feeling of insecurity (if that makes sense). I have a rough idea as to why I have this feeling but it's something for me to think and pray about. Nevertheless, I thank God for Neil and his involvement in my life. Neil put up a good fight and I have no doubt in my mind that Christ has welcomed him and said "well done, good and faithful servant". So I thank you God! And I thank you Neil! You've taught me to continue on this narrow path and to hope in Christ who never fails. You are now free from pain and suffering; your body is now restored. I will see you one day Neil! So until we meet again and I can say this in person, thank you! :)