ashamed.

day 246.
someone gave me a pretty coloured map of the workplace, way better than the black and white I had. I stared at mine, looked at the person sitting beside me, remembered that she had to look over my desk to look at the map, and gave it to her. What i didn't like was the fact i had to think about giving it to her. hahaha :\ she was surprised that i gave it to her, but hey, better than always leaning over to look at the map :P

other than that, i spent non-billable time talking to an admin guy. he is really talented, i see the gift he has from God, to be able to draw so well, to have such a creative mind. Thank you God for giving me the time to spare and talk to him :) to be able to know more about him and his interests! haha I want him to draw me a nice picture of me in lego form, hahaha just a random thought.

Anyways, i had my audit review today and it was good. my thoughts were different from the senior in that I thought i needed to have more confidence when interacting with clients - i felt so scared asking questions, especially when i don't even know what i'm asking -.- but the client felt i did alright (hahaa) Praise God :)

Something else that's on my mind, ummm friends in the workplace. I don't even think I have friends, reason being I don't really hang out with them. And I guess I envy the other co-ops that have developed a real relationships with the seniors - they eat together and go to the gym together. If you think about it, it's actually pretty fun, but I don't know, for me, I'd like to go home and eat dinner with my family. I think people at work think I'm really quiet and not out-going. hahaha I think i'm upset at the fact that i'm missing out on these social events...but at the same time, I like the quiet time I have. I haven't figured it out yet. To be liked or to be right with God. Then I read Andy's post which got me thinking. He paraphrased it: "If anyone is ashamed of me, I will be ashamed of him before my Father" (Mark 8:38, Luke 9:26). It is scary. And to be honest, sometimes I am ashamed of Jesus...it's true :( and there's not a reason why I should be! God's so good...I'm the one He should be shameful of. But He picked me up and called His own. So overwhelming. Praise God!